


Deep roots never doubt spring will come

by crunchturtles



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Farmer Kita Shinsuke, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Unresolved Emotional Tension, chef osamu, deep dark thoughts, sweet stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26419483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crunchturtles/pseuds/crunchturtles
Summary: Osamu visits his rice supplier in the countryside and ponders about his 8 years of suppressed feelings. Maybe this time, it won’t be the same.[OsaKita]
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke & Miya Osamu, Kita Shinsuke/Miya Osamu
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	Deep roots never doubt spring will come

**Author's Note:**

> Experimenting on telling a story and characters' feelings through a scene rather than over an intricate plot, but tbh I don’t really know what I'm doing! Ha ha. I hope you’ll enjoy this little fic as much as I did, let’s indulge in some OsaKita together.
> 
> This piece is dedicated to a writing challenge thing from a discord server I’m in.
> 
> The title is a quote from Marty Rubin.

Running over the fields, feeling the cool breeze caressing his face, yellow butterflies fluttering in and out of view, long grass reaching up to his hips and swaying along with the wind. The beauty of spring is something to behold, it's the season of new beginnings. 

A comforting warmth floods the land after a few months of unforgiving, treacherous cold weather, bringing life back to the soil, reviving the lush greenery that had gone to hiding beneath pure white snow. The radiant sunlight beamed down, its wide spectrum of wavelengths scattering through clouds and refracting on dewdrops of the fresh leaves. The generous sun doesn't leave anyone out, as he loves all the children of the earth, all the creatures he gives life to. On Osamu's face as well, the warm glow highlighted his pale and milky sunlight-deprived skin, accentuating the few tiny freckles on his cheeks that he quite disliked even though most people have told him it looks cute on him. It's almost unnoticeable, but he preferred a crystal clear unblemished face- like Atsumu's. They were twins, so it's unfair.

It was far from his favourite pastime to venture outdoors to mingle with plants and insects under the scorching sun, but recently he finds himself caught in similar situations quite often. If this makes for any consolation, at least it wasn't that hot in spring, and at least he wasn't alone. Correction, it would be more accurate to say it's exactly because he wasn't alone that he's even willing to step out of the luxury of an air conditioned building from the clean, urbanised city into the rural countryside where grass and pebbles were found in place of neat concrete slabs. It’s not easy to convince Osamu to do something out of his comfort zone, there has to be a bit of motivation, of which in this case was more than enough to get him up and running to the open fields.

A little distance away stood Kita Shinsuke, his old high school captain and current business partner. 

Never would he have imagined things to turn out this way. Their captain was an incredibly intelligent and disciplined man, intimidating but kind, and also terribly cute- although that's besides the point. They'd all expected him to bring his big brains into some hard-to-enter course in college like law or medicine and come out to be a really successful individual in the upper strata of society, but Kita had gone down the path that no one had foreseen - becoming a humble rice farmer in the Hyogo countryside. Not to say it wasn't a respectable job, because it definitely was. Rice was the pride and joy of their people, essential to the whole ecosystem and economy of their country.

The first few weeks of Kita announcing his career choice brought confusion to many, but the more Osamu thought about it, the more he felt that it suited his senior. It's nothing short of discipline and routine day after day, very much a Kita thing. There's a unique sense of satisfaction you can't get elsewhere in watching the rice grow from consistent love and effort you put in and harvesting a good batch of grains at the end of the season, as Kita had told him. Osamu agrees, although he doesn't really understand without any firsthand experience. He does love the taste of rice though, and more than anything else he loves seeing Kita in his well seasoned overalls and boots, topped with a black baseball cap that had a small 'Miya' logo printed on the front. That cap was a Christmas gift to Kita last year, disguised as a casual token of appreciation because he didn't know what else to get him, not wanting to go overboard either and getting something super extravagant or expensive. Kita had accepted it gratefully with a smile that made his stomach flutter. 

Pretty lame, now that he thought about it. It was technically part of Onigiri Miya's uniform, and perhaps you could argue that it's special because it can't be bought or found anywhere else, but really, who wants to wear a restaurant's uniform out for no reason?

"Yer still wearing the cap." Osamu nodded politely as they made their way towards each other through the thick, tall grass.

Kita's lips curve upwards in response, flashing that subtle sweet, soft smile that makes Osamu's heart melt a little each time.

"I like it, makes me feel like I'm part of the family."

And then there's the unreal being called Kita Shinsuke. Although Osamu was well aware that Kita referred not to the Miya family in the literal sense but simply meant to express his sense of belonging in Onigiri Miya's system as their rice supplier, it still made his stomach swirl in a mess of fuzzy bubbles.

 _Yer more than welcome to take my last name,_ he wants to say, but his sanity and pride wouldn't let him. He's not Atsumu, he has that much self control. Maybe when he's drunk, only maybe, then he'll have an excuse for making an Atsumu-level type of childish joke.

Only, it's not really a joke. He'd fallen far too deep, lost track of how far he strayed when he wasn't paying attention, the teenage crush on his captain growing stronger and stronger till he could no longer brush it away with a mere self justification that an infatuation like this will fade with time. Now, he indulges in every chance he gets. Refusing delivery of rice by a third party transport service so he could personally come down to the farm, sending him pictures of freshly cooked rice and feedback letters from customers praising the high quality ingredients, finding any excuse he could get to give Kita a call and then end up talking about the weather and reminiscing about their high school days, telling Kita that he wants to see for himself how the rice is manufactured to earn himself a ticket to a farm stay. Osamu might seem like an innocent, orthodox individual, but he's a sly little fox just like his brother. 

“Yer part of the family, Kita-san.” He says, tone calm and mild as usual, then looks over Kita's shoulder into the distance. “How far is it from here?”

Once in a while, which was in fact more often than necessary- Osamu hopes Kita hadn’t suspected anything, he’d pay the farm a visit. The reason he gave was that the countryside was peaceful with fields and nature that stretched beyond the horizons, calming his mind and eased his stress. Also, it wasn’t that far out, just a 40 minute drive from town. Kita had grinned and agreed with him back then, the same smile as the one he sported now. _“You’re always welcome here.”_ Osamu still remembers the way his senior welcomed him to his home the first time, big-hearted and carefree.

Today, as by Kita’s promise last week, they were going to visit a shallow cliff with a small stream flowing beneath it. A little distance from the farmhouse, Kita’s favourite spot, which he goes to whenever there was something on his mind or just to stargaze at night because it had the softest grass and an unobstructed view of the sky. Stars are rarely seen in the light polluted city, but experiencing the night sky in the country was like stepping into a whole new world. Osamu has yet to find a chance to lay down on the grass at night with Kita, since most of his visits were day trips, while those where he could spend the night were not favoured by the weather. This time though, he might just get the chance to. He’s got the weekend freed up, and the weather outlook seemed good so far.

Kita turned his back to Osamu and slowly made his way through the grass that surrounded them, pushing the green stalks aside and looking back in a gesture for the other to follow. 

“It’s not far from here, we’ll have to pass through the woods to get there. But the terrain is rough, so try to keep up. You can hold my hand if you’re afraid of getting lost.” 

Just before he turned his head back to face the front, Osamu swore he noticed a hint of a smirk dancing on Kita’s lips.

 _What was that?_ A tinge of red crept up to his cheeks, but thankfully Kita was already walking ahead and paying him no mind. Sometimes Osamu forgets that his captain was capable of cracking a joke or two as well; that impassive face can be terribly deceiving. It’ll be the death of him, one of these days.

Osamu shrugs it off and jogged a little to catch up, before slowing down to walk a step behind Kita, who made his way through the tall grass and into the wooded area with ease and not a hint of fatigue. 

Walking through vegetated terrain was very different from walking on paved concrete. Here, the ground was uneven, soft, with varying levels of firmness, the occasional pothole and puddles of mud and water. It takes him about triple the amount of energy and time to travel the same distance as compared to the urban landscape, and by the time they made it out of the woods, Osamu was breathing heavily. Nowhere near panting though, he’d never let himself appear that weak. Definitely not in front of Kita.

“Was that too much for you?”

Osamu lifts his eyes from hazily scanning the ground to see the silver haired man beaming at him, slowly stepping backwards into the clearing ahead. It’s brighter without the canopy of the trees, revealing bright blue skies once more, this time with short, richly coloured green grass and an eagle circling high above.

“Go easy on me, Kita-san. I haven’t had the time to exercise in a while.”

Kita seems to smile a lot more in the countryside, still stoic and rigid but in this wide open space filled with nature, Kita was one with it all. He might be just another insignificant being in this vast scenery, but in Osamu's eyes he's a sparkling, wonderful ray of sunshine, the subject of the painting, the main character of the story- _his_ story. With the gentle breeze messing up his hair and the intricate mix of light and shadows cast on his face by the huge tree above them, Kita looked like a prince out of a fairytale picture book. 

Outdoors weren’t his thing, but maybe he could get used to this after all.

Kita chuckles with a hand to his mouth. “Come on, it’s right up ahead.”

“Ah, alright.” 

To Osamu, things like fairytales and magic don’t exist. But when it comes to Kita, sometimes it feels as if there was something extraordinary that he couldn’t quite explain with science. Maybe in the countryside, the spirits and deities that Kita liked to talk about had more power and influence over the land and people. Maybe Kita was one of them himself- one of those beautiful, playful, wise things, enticing men to fall in love with him then taking their soul. If that were the case, Osamu has no doubt been lured in successfully. He must’ve been quite an easy catch for Kita, of which he has no complaints about. Just take his soul, he’ll hand it over packaged with a ribbon.

Beyond the woods they came from lay a vast open clearing, and further up front where Kita was headed to he saw the stretch of land come to an end. A gap of empty space separated them and the grassland that continued on the other side. This was likely the cliff Kita was talking about.

As Osamu trotted after Kita to the edge, he looked around and took in the refreshing sight that enveloped them, basking in the comforting scent of sunshine and poaceae. Stepping carefully after Kita over the dry grass that crisped under his feet was a feeling he sure missed. Over the edge of the cliff was what looked like a small valley with a gentle stream flowing beneath, flanked by a bit of wet ground and steep rocky cliffs on either side. The land on both sides were blessed with lush greenery and soft grass, but the side they were on had a large oak tree that Kita told him was a few hundred years old, its beautifully twisted branches and large canopy providing shade from the sun. The sound of birds and cicadas chirping could be heard, though Osamu doesn’t know where they were. The eagle in the sky was still circling in the sky, slowly moving northwards to scan new areas for prey. 

Who was it who said the grass was always greener on the other side? Osamu thinks this side was way better. Here there was that oak tree, and Kita by his side.

Kita carefully steps closer to the edge of the cliff, and Osamu follows. It’s steep, but not too deep a fall. You’d surely get injured from falling off, but not die from it, probably. Osamu purses his lips at the thought, and Kita chuckles.

“Come sit down with me.”

Osamu nods and plops down beside Kita who had made his way under the shade of the oak tree.

He couldn’t see the stream from his position, but he could hear the swishing of water, which provided a very calming effect. The grass, although wild and untamed, wasn’t as spikey or uncomfortable as he'd expected. Feeling reasonably relaxed, Osamu stretches, then lays down on his back with hands behind his head. The ground was unexpectedly soft with the grass acting as a cushion, a pleasant difference from laying down on concrete or ceramic tiled floors in his shop when he’s dead beat after hours, and somehow he wasn’t as bothered by the potential bugs in the grass as he thought he’d be. At least it hadn’t rained in the past few days, so the ground was crisp and dry; laying on damp grass would have been too much for Osamu.

So this place was where Kita spent his free time. Kita's secret garden, which he's now been let in. A silly little smile surfaced on Osamu's lips before he realized it.

“How do you find it?”

“It’s very relaxing.”

“Right?” a gentle, innocent smile presents itself once again.

“Yeah. Thanks for bringin’ me here.”

“Yer welcome. Visit me more often, then.”

“Ha ha, miss me that much, Kita-san?” Although the invitation brought a warm fuzzy feeling to his stomach, Osamu tries his best to play it off cool. Since Kita so insists, he’ll make it a point visit more often; good for him, he's been wanting to anyway. His senior had better not regret saying that even if it were meant as a joke.

“Laying on the grass feels nicer when there’s someone by your side.”

Kita’s words never fail to leave Osamu yearning for more. On one end he’s glad that he’s the one who has the honour of laying by his side right now, but at the same time the fact that the identity of the company was unspecified left room for free interpretation. It could be anyone, not necessarily Osamu, that could fill in the space. He's not special.

Still, he’s innately thankful that he chose to part ways with Atsumu and volleyball to walk down this path on his own, because only then he’d get to see this side of Kita that his brother couldn’t. Not that he’d expected Kita to take over his family’s rice farm and end up doing business with him when he made that decision, it was a lucky strike of the jackpot; perhaps the deities were on his side.

After a deep breath and exhaling blissfully, Kita lays down on his back beside him, a lot closer than what Osamu was prepared for. He doesn't have his arms behind his head like Osamu does, but the cap keeps his head covered and hair in place. 

_Woah, close._ A slight flicker of his gaze showed Osamu a closed-eyed Kita with a soft, gentle smile. Was this what it felt like to wake up beside Kita Shinsuke? He's a mixture of ecstasy and nervousness right now, and he swallows an unintended lump in his throat. Hopefully Kita doesn't notice. The awkward chef takes his hands from behind his head and threads them neatly over his stomach, mirroring Kita.

 _Why, oh god, why? Why do I have to be like this?_ Osamu’s lips were pressed into a thin line in an effort to calm his racing heartbeat. It’s been years, for goodness sake. He’s not a teenager anymore, so he ought to have better control of his emotions. But when faced with Kita, all hope of that was lost.

His biggest regret as an adult was probably being unable to get over his highschool crush. For at least 8 years now, from the age of 16 when he first entered Inarizaki till 23 in the current time, it’s a constant struggle as he tries (and fails) to quell his fanatical obsession over Kita. On and off, sometimes it fades a little, but it always comes back.

And this whole regret stems from the fact that he hasn’t done a single thing about it at all. Maybe if he had actually tried earnestly and got properly rejected, he would have been able to accept that even his best efforts cannot yield the results he desires and proceed to move on with life. That works in theory, but after all these years of pining, never once had he managed to work up the courage to tell his senior about his feelings. He reasons with himself by saying that this was for the best, not wanting to risk their friendship and working relationship that was going perfectly fine between the both of them now. They were old friends and business partners who often talked about their lives with each other, visited or called every now and then, and shared a strong sense of trust and camaraderie. What more was there to ask for? Why risk all these for something so selfish? That was what he told himself, but deep down, the truth was that Osamu was afraid of rejection.

That, and he doesn’t really want to move on.

However, despite things being alright now, whether he was satisfied with what he has was a completely different story. Like his twin, Osamu was also one with immense, insatiable hunger. That's why amidst his fear of rejection, he still can't help taking little actions like these to get closer to his subject of admiration.

Sooner or later, he’ll have to make something out of it.

To tell him or not to tell him?

There were three possible outcomes Osamu could think of. The first one was the typical happy ending, the most desirable outcome, where years of feelings are returned and they hug and kiss and fervently express their undying love for each other and live happily ever after. Osamu’s not going to lie to himself, he can't imagine Kita acting as mushy as that, but you get the gist of it. 

The second outcome would be getting rejected, but Kita is chill with it and nothing changes between them, they remain as good friends like they are now and maybe understand each other a little better. He’ll have to completely let go of his pining for Kita for this to work out though, of which he isn’t sure he’s able to achieve as of now. 

The third and last possibility, the one he absolutely wants to avoid, is a rejection plus a strain on their relationship. Things would get awkward, they would probably drift apart, Kita might be disgusted at him for being a homosexual, and hold on a second- _was Kita even gay in the first place?_ Osamu doesn’t recall seeing his captain having any girlfriends back in high school, though that might be because of his heavy workload or simply due to a lack of interest in dating. Neither was he aware of any boyfriends that might have existed, so that was uncharted territory. 

Osamu on the other hand believes he had made his orientation crystal clear, since he had his share of young love when he dated Suna around the beginning of their first year, and let's just say they weren't the most discreet of lovers. 

Rather than intentionally trumpeting their affections for the world to see though, it's more of a lack of concern for how people view them. Suna Rintarou wasn’t secretive by nature, and neither did Osamu see the need to hide anything, so naturally the whole club knew about them, but the fun only lasted for a month or two before they both agreed that this wasn’t what they were looking for. Suna was sly and playful, finding amusement in sneaking kisses in between classes, sending him suggestive glances during training, a natural flirt, which in all honesty Osamu thought was pretty fun. Meanwhile Osamu was calmer and preferred to keep to himself, sometimes responding to Suna’s advances with indifference, and sometimes with his own snarky comebacks. Things started out fresh and exciting in the beginning, both of them drawn to each other's stark differences yet oddly similar way of thinking and behaviour. The longer it went on, the lesser interest they had in each other. Infatuation, he supposes that was it. 

There was nothing wrong with them. Sweet dates, morning and night texts, inevitable couple fights and patching back together. Suna was a wonderful person he totally clicked with, but the main striking issue was that being with him didn’t quite satisfy his craving for becoming one with that 'special' someone; they were more like close friends than anything else. It was like a fun and thrilling ride at a theme park; in the end, somehow Kita always comes back to mind.

Well, maybe he was just lonely.

Fortunately, they were both relatively laid back and things ended on a good note, allowing them to remain as close and trustworthy friends up till now. Osamu has heard enough stories of lovers going through breakups and becoming enemies to be thankful that neither he nor Suna were the type to hold this sort of petty grudges, they were in fact far from that. Suna even knows about his admiration for Kita, which often gets misused as a leverage whenever he wants something from Osamu.

_“C’mon, be a nice teammate and help me refill my bottle. Kita-san will be proud.”_

Ah, what a jerk.

As for Kita, it’s been too long for Osamu to properly tell if the man was _the_ ‘special someone’ he seeked. Or should it be the other way round where he gets clearer about it the longer it dragged out? Never mind that, regardless of how numb and muddled his feelings have been mashed into, Osamu was pretty sure eight years of pining wasn’t going to pass off as simple infatuation. These emotions are now a messy mix of admiration, lust, respect, obsession, fear, and desire without an outlet to be released. Those days of unstable teen mentalities are over, he’s supposed to be a fully grown adult who has a proper grasp of his feelings- but that was nothing more than an idealistic theory that can hardly be applied in real life. Such a bittersweet sensation it was, to have Kita within reach but forever beyond that thin line of a boundary between them.

So the conclusion of the story was that Kita definitely knows about his orientation. Now this felt a little unfair; his crush knew all about him, yet what Osamu knew about the other was very limited. It’s agonizing how Kita rarely gives anything away, but he'll have to find out more on his own then, slowly but surely, figuring out the entirety of his old highschool captain- there’s joy to be found in that process as well. 

As for whether or not he should let Kita know about his feelings, maybe, just maybe, it's about time he spilled the tea. Besides it being for Kita to know, it was for Osamu's own mental health as well, for him to release all those bottled up feelings that were slowly eating him up inside.

Not counting today, Osamu has another two days off from work to spend at the countryside before he has to go back to the city again. So he'll give himself two days to plan and build his resolve, enough of the excuses and cowardly avoidance. Regardless of how things turn out, he'll just have to accept the outcome. At most he'll laugh it off as a mere childhood crush and things would still stay the same, nothing really changes with Kita after all, as Osamu had noticed over the years. Kita’s a dependable man who always has your back.

"Has business been going well?"

Kita's voice breaks his train of thoughts, pulling him from his bubble back down to earth. 

"Oh, yes. It's all thanks to the rice ya harvest without fail."

"You give me too much credit. Yer the one who makes adds magic to raw materials and make wonderful onigiri out of them." Kita closes his eyes and smiles as he recalls the delicious food Osamu whipped up for him the last time he visited town. "I missed those."

"I could cook for ya later, if yer alright with me using the kitchen."

"How can I let my guest prepare the meals?" Kita laughs, "But, I can’t deny it'd be a pleasure to have such a skilled chef join me in the kitchen."

"You can count on me, I'll make yer mouth water."

Kita seemed pleased by that, and so was Osamu.

"Sorry for making you cook even on yer holiday."

"Not at all, Kita-san. I'm happy to cook for ya any day."

"Really? You would?"

_Yeah, I'll be yer personal chef if that's what ya wish for._

"Of course."

The rustling of leaves filled in the intangible gap they'd left in silence, before Osamu opened his mouth to speak again.

“Kita-san, can I hold yer hand?”

_Eager, hot headed fool._

It didn't take more than a fraction of a second after the words left his lips for Osamu to deeply regret his actions that must've appeared rather creepy without any context. Someone remind him why he had to say something like that again? But Kita did offer to let him hold his hand when they were entering the forest earlier, right? Osamu and his desperate attempts to comfort himself.

Another second or two of tense silence passes, perhaps Kita was in thought, then he rolls over to his side to face Osamu. The younger male was still looking straight up, intensely staring at the gently swaying leaves of the oak tree, facial features still stiff and expressionless, but his cheeks were tinted pink. A light chuckle escaped the lips of the silver haired man, it's a pity Osamu didn’t have the courage to turn his head to look.

 _Ah- fuck. Idiot. Dumbass. Stupid. Fuck!!_ An endless string of curses flooded his mind as Osamu tried his best to maintain a calm exterior, but his heart was pumping blood way too fast for it not to show on his face. Now he’s gone and done it. And Kita was staring at him. _What for? Why isn't Kita saying anything?_ Osamu was going insane with the curiosity of what kind of expression his senior had on his face, but was too nervous to face him. They were so close, their faces were so close, if he were to turn his head, their noses might just bump.

 _Please, just let me die._ Osamu considers jumping off the cliff out of embarrassment. A joke, of course, but if this carries on any longer he’s not sure if he can differentiate that from reality. Kita wasn’t making it any easier by keeping a deathly silence while burning a hole in him with his eyes. Well, it could be worse.

“Ha ha, Kita-”

“Will you promise not to let go?”

_Huh._

He was about to shrug it off as some lame crappy joke to ease the awkward silence, but Osamu pauses mid sentence- or rather, he got cut off. Frozen in place, the forced laughter caught in his throat. He blinks once, twice, then slowly turns his head to face Kita. Their noses didn’t bump, there was a mere centimeter’s gap between them.

“So?”

Kita’s deep angelic voice resounded in his ears once again, when Osamu stared for too long without saying anything. He must really look like a flustered mess compared to his senior who’s calm and composed, not a hint of tension as if this were a casual conversation about the weather, as if he were used to this sort of thing. Oh dear, was Kita actually a super experienced veteran in these matters? It’s not like it’ll make much of a difference to his feelings for Kita, but Osamu doesn’t know what to think of that. Who knows what’s going on inside that brain though, that’s Kita-san for you.

Osamu was still trying to put the pieces together in his head, tirelessly figuring out what Kita meant, but that kind of sounded like he got the green light, right?

“I won’t! I won’t let go.”

He jumps at the chance.

A pleased smile surfaces on Kita’s lips, his eyes narrowing to curved slits. 

Being unable to tell what Kita was thinking was a common problem many faced, Osamu wasn’t the only victim. Humans were capable of a diverse range of feelings, so a multitude of different thoughts and emotions could be hidden behind that impassive face that gave nothing away, often bringing anxiety to quite a lot of people who try to figure him out.

From their high school days till the present, nothing’s changed. However, it wasn’t to say Kita has zero expressions, he does make wonderfully addictive expressions sometimes, like right now- he’s smiling so sweetly it melts Osamu’s heart and the darker part of him wants to lock Kita up and keep the man all for himself. That's how it goes for Osamu, but it's hard for most others to see these lovable traits when Kita's impossibly calm and logical nature drew a line between himself and everyone else. Apathetic, indifferent, emotionless, straightforward and blunt, cold, intimidating, inflexible- that was what most people thought of Kita Shinsuke. Sure, he’s pretty damn smart and hardworking, but kind of hard to get close to.

Osamu knows very well that’s not the case. Kita isn’t nearly as complicated as what everyone thinks. He’s a simple man, and not all that different from everyone else.

His captain was one of the kindest people he’s ever met. Strict and intimidating but kind, almost like a parent. Upon further consideration, Kita might actually have more influence over him than his own parents, though in the early years it was mostly out of fear that Osamu did as his captain said. The Inarizaki captain he admired and worshipped had an intense, domineering air about him that renders you unable to oppose, despite being smaller in size than most others. 

Making Osamu get up early on the weekends to help out with household chores was an impossible feat, no matter how much his mother nagged. You could say Atsumu was worse, but Osamu wasn’t a whole lot better as his carbon copy.

But then when Kita puts him on cleaning duty during their training camps, Osamu adopts a military routine, getting up at 6.30 in the morning to mop the floor and set up the gym. It's early and he's tired, but there's a motivation that stems from seeing Kita who was always there as well regardless of who was on duty. Everyday was a duty day for their captain, an admirable man who leads by example and does things to perfection without a single complaint.

On days when he forgets to do his homework, the only person who could make him admit to gaming the night away and have it completed to be submitted right that afternoon was Kita. When faced with the last slice of watermelon, the only one who can prevent a fight to the death between him and Atsumu was Kita. When no one wanted to clean up the gym, the only reason Osamu would volunteer his service was none other than the bait of spending alone time with his captain after practice, even if all they did was just cleaning. 

Whether it was intentional or not, Kita has them all under a firm leash.

Back in the day, the cold silver haired man was the only one who could tame the wild and feral Miya twins- the main troublemakers for their team. That, Osamu was well aware of. He swears it wasn’t his fault; all those incidents were entirely the result of Atsumu being the incorrigible asshole he is and pissing him off at any chance he gets. If it were just Osamu on the team without that pretentious fake blonde, he’d probably be one of the best behaved members that Kita could be proud of. Model student, employee of the month, captain's favourite, that kinda thing. That being said, even with the rough and bumpy times they were put through, things wouldn’t be the same and their unique team dynamics wouldn't have come to be without Atsumu there, so he was still grateful to have his idiot brother with him. And despite all these challenges, Osamu tries to put on his best behaviour regardless, aiming to be the more composed and mature one of the twins, which he believes he’s succeeded. 

Kita was here with him after all, not with his brother, right?

Maybe, but also maybe it’s got nothing to do with that and Kita was never even making a choice between him and his brother and Osamu was just overthinking everything, which was probably the case. 

In his defence, there was a period of time where Atsumu had a tiny crush on Kita. To be honest, who hasn't? On such a perfect, dependable, precious, handsome, wonderful man? Still, it really scared him, the first time Atsumu said "hey, dontcha think Kita-san's pretty hot?" around the beginning of their second year.

Yes, insanely hot. But please, he doesn't want to hear that from Atsumu. 

Living with a clone of himself since birth had resulted in a competitive tendency with Atsumu that he couldn't quite shake off no matter how many times people tell them they're both great in their own way or how often their parents claim to love them equally regardless of how well they fare. This competitiveness carries on even when it comes to their crushes _; especially_ when it comes to Kita-san. 

Atsumu had always been the brighter, more outgoing, expressive, attention grabbing twin. There's a hint of inferiority that Osamu doesn't want to admit, of which being constantly compared with Atsumu didn't help. 

The blonde's crush on Kita didn't last long though, not unlike his other crushes. That fickle minded troublemaker has probably had a crush on everyone on their team at some point in time, all of which died down within a month or two. He's got quite a colourful relationship history that featured men and women from their own school as well as fans from other schools. Some entertained him, some couldn't be bothered with his antics, but many have had their hearts broken. Kita was wise enough not to take Atsumu seriously, although he might have simply not been interested in children's banter, but not everyone was.

Right now Atsumu's getting it on with Hinata Shoyo of the Jackal's team, though how long he'll stick with it was a different matter; Osamu can only guess.

All that history only confirmed his beliefs that Kita is a wonderful person, and Osamu will recite that irrefutable fact with dedication. If worshipping a person could be considered a religion, this might just be Osamu's.

He remembers the time he witnessed tears fall from his senior’s eyes nearing the end of his first year, the scene still fresh in his memory after all these years- Kita just standing there clutching the captain’s jersey in his hands and weeping silently. Not to be rude, but it was a truly eye opening experience. At that point in time, the emotions that engulfed his simple mind was plain dumbfoundedness and surprise. _Oh, Kita-san can cry too._

Didn't come across as something worth crying over though, it's just captainship. But after hearing about the reason behind his overreaction, Osamu thinks he might just cry too. It's a steady pulse of consistent diligence and hard work day after day since middle school, even though Kita has never gotten a jersey before, even though he knows his efforts were never going to earn him a place as a regular. Inarizaki was the first to recognise the value in his seemingly ordinary traits and entrusted him with the captainship of their school team, so this was a really big thing for him. 

His Kita-san was undoubtedly a man of deep emotional feelings. 

It really pulled on his heartstrings. Osamu felt his chest tighten with a weird feeling that made him want to go up to his new captain, give him a tight hug, congratulate him and tell him how amazing he is. How could a person work so hard without any promise of something in return? Like the rest of the team, Osamu had no doubts that the coming year would be in good hands. 

If he falls any deeper, the way out might just cease to exist. Or maybe, it's already too late, he's too far down the rabbit hole that the guiding ray of light from the exit was no longer visible.

Not many have the honour of receiving Osamu's unquestioning, unconditional trust, and Kita's one of the few. Almost like a religion, he’ll put on his best behaviour to make his captain proud. If Kita tells him to run a hundred laps around the field, he'd do it. If Kita says to eat nothing but vegetables for a week, sure. He eats anything anyway. Even if Kita wants him to apologize to his brother for something that's not his fault, he'll suck it up and force out the words through gritted teeth. As long as it's within his power, there's nothing Osamu won't do. When Atsumu got a special Kita-care-pack for not taking care of himself and falling sick, that was pushing his limits, but it's okay. Osamu was jealous as heck, but that’s okay. He's the responsible twin.

Anything goes, as long as he can make Kita proud of him. As long as Kita was happy.

“Alright then, Osamu. Hold my hand.”

Timidly, with both of them still maintaining eye contact, Osamu obliges. He reaches out and grazes his fingers against Kita’s, lingering for a moment as if seeking permission before intertwining their fingers together. Kita’s calloused hand was slightly smaller than his, but it fit snugly and was full of warmth.

“Sorry, it’s a little rough from farmwork.”

They were so close that Osamu could feel Kita’s breath against his skin when he spoke.

“I like yer hands, Kita-san. It’s amazing how ya work so hard everyday, these hands are proof of that. Ya should be proud of ‘em.”

Kita lets out a light laugh that reminded him of tingling resonant bell chimes. "Thank you."

This meant that Kita was okay with the current setup, right? With them holding hands? Osamu's not sure what the significance of hand-holding was to Kita, but he didn't dare ask for fear of the potential awkwardness and his own pride.

Well, he still has two days.

“Can I maybe, kiss ya?” He asks softly, cursing how his palms are starting to get damp with sweat. So much for being the mature, dependable twin. Osamu was well aware that he was treading on a thin ice, as exemplified by his rapid heart rate, yet it's an impulse he cannot subdue.

“Maybe?” Kita's breathy reply brushed air against the younger's cheeks. What a tease.

Feeling his patience being tested, Osamu squeezes Kita’s hand and leans in, bumping their noses together. 

“Is this really okay, Kita-san?”

He knows what he wants, knows how to get it, he's already so close, yet Osamu was meek and unsure.

Kita lets out a fond sigh. "Yer still the same boy I know from highschool."

With that, the older man answers his question by swiftly closing the centimeter gap between their lips and tightening his grip on Osamu's hand.

_Oh, dear, god._

The sensation came as a wave of electricity that overloaded his neurons and short circuited his brain. Such soft lips, such a sweet scent of mint and lemon, warm breath, slick and smooth movements.

 _Wait, what? What’s going on? Is this really happening? Is it a dream?_

If so, Osamu wishes for it to go on forever. How ironic that he was the one who asked for it in the first place, yet he's unable to comprehend reality when it's handed to him. It wasn't as if it's his first time kissing- although it would be terribly romantic to have his first kiss stolen by his highschool captain at the age of 23 as an overgrown innocent greenhorn- yet he's behaving like a surprised high school girl.

Fortunately or not, his bewilderment switched out for excitement in a jiffy, and so he responded passionately by closing his eyes and moving his lips against Kita's, albeit hesitantly. He's dramatic, but at least he's quick to adapt.

_Wonderful. I can die happy now._

On second thought, no, not yet. This was only the beginning, there's so many more things to be done with Kita. They could start dating, maybe he could move in if Kita was alright with that, there'll be nights out and couple things, they'll grow old together, live out their days by each other's side in the quiet countryside. Only then, will he be able to rest in peace. But even then, he wishes it never ends, that there'll be an afterlife he could spend with Kita for eternity. A hopeless romantic, one could call him.

One thing about Osamu- it could be both a good thing or a bad depending on how you approach the subject, was that his imagination tends to run a little too wild. He's decades too early to think of retirement plans when all the progress he’d made with Kita was nothing more than an impromptu kiss of which its significance was still unknown. But well, it doesn’t hurt to fantasize. Think of all the possibilities! Dreams come true! Like the wise Nietzsche has said, you must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.

As his lips mingled with Kita's, slow but passionate, Osamu indulges in the experience of a more playful side of Kita when the older man slipped a tongue beyond his lips, only to give the inner part of his upper lip a little lick before retracting it again. Osamu wheezes a sultry muffled moan and retaliates by hollowing out his cheeks and sucking on Kita's tongue. 

Such was true bliss indeed.

After building up his onigiri business and gradually establishing the foundations, time and consistent effort is all it takes for new branches to start popping up across the prefecture and ultimately the whole country. That sounded like a distant dream as of now, but in view of the rapidly growing popularity of his products it doesn't seem like an impossible feat. Kita could be by his side running the business with him, or if he preferred staying on the farms that's fine by Osamu as well. From the start to end of the production line- rice to onigiri, they've got it settled. In the future when Onigiri Miya has developed enough to not require his physical presence at the stores anymore, he could opt to handle the administrative work from home while leaving the frontline to his staff, though they might not get as much business without his handsome face at the shop front. A little drop in sales didn’t mean anything when that could be exchanged for something much greater- spending valuable time with Kita.

Those were big plans, but even if he doesn't manage to make it big, that's alright too. He's sure Kita wouldn't blame him, mock him, or look down on him; for having such insatiable hunger but being unable to fulfill it. Whether it comes with encouragement of lack thereof, it'll be the same old steely expression with a blank smile, telling him that it's the process that truly matters.

In that case, they'll still live together in the countryside, he'll just have to travel to and fro his workplace. He'll help Kita out on the fields whenever he can, they could keep a collie dog and some chickens, and care for a little herb garden in the backyard. Weekends would be filled with dates to the grocery store, comfortable movie nights at home, delicious home cooked food everyday. They could take turns to cook, since working in the kitchen wasn't unfamiliar to either of them. Things that Osamu liked, Kita was skilled at. Things that Kita liked, Osamu admired. How wonderfully well they complimented each other with common interests and lifestyles, that when he thinks of Kita, he thinks of home. When they're feeling adventurous they could even take some time off to go on trips in exploration of foregin lands, sailing the vast oceans and hiking through the mountains for a change of pace. New land conquered, together. And after they've had their hearty share of youth, what awaits in old age are chill breakfasts and tea, reading the daily papers under the rays of sunlight that through polished windows, watching the birds and taking care of each other. They won’t have any children, but Kita’s enough for him. It'll be just the two of them, without any interruption. This mystical scene was the perfect representation of Osamu's ideal retirement, of which he hopes to create a real-life replica.

Osamu lets his other hand wander to Kita's cheek, fingers grazing it on their way to the dual toned locks, finally nestling itself within the soft strands and tilting his senior's head ever so slightly to deepen the kiss. Kita obliges, leaning towards him, trailing his own hand over Osamu's neck and jaw. His palm was rough, but his movements were unbelievably gentle, drawing Osamu deeper within his grasp in a delirious euphoria. Hands ran through soft locks, over necks, caressing faces and venturing lower as things got more heated and the mood allowed for it. The raven haired boy no longer tries to calm his racing heart as there was no need to, besides him being unable to; blood is pumped through his veins faster than ever. He drags his fingers across Kita's back, registering the feeling of the rough fabric of his senior's work shirt in his brain and taking in how handsome the farmer was in those overalls he wore to work out in the fields. Just imagine how marvelous it'd be to look at that everyday, having the real deal within reach and not just through a digital screen- it's been on Osamu's Christmas wishlist for many consecutive years now. Fondling the warm, dry, textured cloth over Kita's now tanned, unblemished skin, Osamu's hand moves a little higher, to the back of Kita's neck where the skin peeked out of the back of the collar. Oh, warm. 

_Riiiing._

Osamu jolts involuntarily, while Kita's eyelids flutter open as his movements slow to a stop.

_What. The. Fuck._

Flushed cheeks that have painstakingly calmed down turned a deeper shade of red once again, now out of embarrassment rather than excitement. 

That ringtone was, without a doubt, Osamu's. It's a tune from one of the rock bands he listens to, full of heavy distortion and pounding syncopated bass lines. The last time he heard Kita's phone ring, it was a simple series of bird chirping noises, one of those typical default ringtones you find in a phone. And he doubts it would have changed by now, for just last week he saw his senior sharing a video of Erlkonig by Franz Schubert on social media and talking about the wonder of perfect cadences in Beethoven's works. Alright, they might be similar, but their music tastes were diverse.

Osamu mumbles an apology as he fished out his phone from his pants pocket, head filled with an endless string of vulgarities at whoever it was that had the audacity to-

The caller ID read ‘Tsumu’.

Oh, of course it had to be Atsumu. Little wimp really knows how to cock block.

He slides the 'end call' button without a second thought, only to have it ring again a second later, and he can already imagine Atsumu making a scene with his childish whining and ostentatious display on the other side. Truly a horror indeed; the phone wouldn't stop screaming regardless of how he slid the red button up again and again, which was well, not a surprise, though that didn’t mean Osamu wasn’t pissed, because no doubt he was fuckin’ furious. 

_Just, why now?_

This awkward situation of having Kita watch while his brother interrupts them in the middle of something intimate- it's a little difficult to wrap his head around the idea. Atsumu had better be prepared for a whopping then next time they meet, when they're out of Kita's sight. It gets to the point where Osamu was about to switch off the damned phone, when Kita props himself up with an elbow and puts a hand on Osamu's shoulder.

“Shouldn’t ya call back?”

“Nah, that's fine.”

“It's alright, it looks urgent.”

A sigh draws out from his lips as Osamu tightens his grip on his phone. 

“Okay. Sorry, Kita-san, I'll be quick.”

What a wonderful day and a wonderful atmosphere ruined by his brother once again. As if any of them had the mood to continue where they’d left off after he entertains his brother with whatever it is he wants. Osamu pushes himself into a sitting position, back slightly slouching as he accepts the next call that came in. So does Kita, who sits quietly beside his junior and waits patiently.

“What do you w-”

“Oi, ‘Samu! Where are ya? Stuck in the bathroom or somethin’?”

Osamu winces at the loud, crude voice from the other end of the line and pulls the phone away from his ear. His twin was speaking so unnecessarily loudly that he could hold his phone 10 centimeters from his ear and still hear his squabbling. He’s not deaf, Osamu wants to tell him, but he doubts his brother would understand. All he could do was to flash Kita an apologetic, exasperated look, to which Kita responds with an empathetic shake of his head. Right, Kita understands. He can relate. That felt good.

“The fuck you talkin’ bout? Did’ja get yer as handed over ta ya?” Osamu replies with a monotonous tone. His idiot brother probably thought Osamu was there to watch his game today, but unfortunately for him, the onigiri store owner had more important things to tend to, like meeting his business partner, Kita. He didn’t have to be present at every little event that they provide catering services for.

“Excuse me, but we won, ya dipshit. Anyway really where are ya? I don’t see ya at Onigiri Miya’s booth. Wanna come over to my place before heading to the afterparty?”

“Tsk. I’m not at the stadium, dumbass.”

“Huh, yer not here? No wonder I couldn’t find ya! You said you’d watch my game! What’s the point if Miya isn’t manning the Miya shop?”

“Yer hopeless. I didn't say that. And, I’m not going tonight.”

“Say what? I already told Shoyo you were comin’!

Osamu rolls his eyes at that. “I didn’t even say I was goin’! That’s yer own fault for promising things ya can’t deliver.”

“Don’t be such a nag! He's been whining ‘bout meeting the chef behind all that onigiri he’s been meeting-”

“I’m not the only one who cooks at the store. Grab someone else from the booth, then.”

“Yer crazy, ‘Samu! Y’know that’s not it! He just wants to meet his brother-in-law and get to kno-”

_Beep._

Osamu ends the call, facing Kita with the same deadpan expression, though the other male could sense the dark, annoyed air that surrounded him. That’s Kita's expertise, sensing what people are thinking and feeling, even though he himself didn’t give anything away.

“It was useless after all.”

Kita lets out a low, amused chuckle. “Yer not going to their party tonight?”

Osamu was about to say something related to how Kita knew about that, but he realised they were speaking so loudly that Kita could probably hear their conversation clear as day, as if Atsumu were here himself. With the volume he was talking at, the call might have as well been set on speaker.

“I mean, Kita-san, I am here after all.” He glances at the surroundings in gesture of his current location in the countryside. “I’m spending the next two days with ya.”

“Ditching yer brother for me?” Kita raised his brows, almost smugly, though a person who didn't know him well wouldn’t be able to see it through that seemingly expressionless wall.

“Kita-san!” Lips pressed into a thin line, Osamu breathes out his name hoarsely. Not wrong, but he didn’t expect Kita to phrase it that way.

“Would ya like to go together then?” Kita suggests, cross legged with hands placed neatly on his thighs, while Osamu stares in a daze.

“To...the Jackals’ party?”

“Yes, I happened to have received an invitation from Atsumu as well, though I was going to turn him down since you were staying the weekend.”

“So ya were ditching ‘Tsumu for me?” It’s a meek statement, hesitant, as Osamu tests the waters with his meager attempt at being cheeky.

It was well received, as although Kita blinks a few times in surprise, he laughs lightly afterwards. “I guess ya could put it that way!”

“Right, so we’re the same.” Osamu said, with more confidence this time.

“I do kind of pity Atsumu if we both ditch him.” Kita said, “So we could both go, if you'd like.”

"Together?"

"Yeah, we could go together."

 _Together, as in, as my date?_ Was what he wanted to ask, although the question doesn’t leave his mouth properly.

As if by telepathy, Kita answers his question without any need for words. All he did was to stand up, pat the creases on his pants, and extend a hand for Osamu to take. The younger male takes his hand and pulls himself up, then realises that Kita’s hold doesn’t loosen, so he takes that as permission granted for him to intertwine their fingers together.

“Let’s go. We have to start getting ready, it’s a bit of a distance away.”

Osamu nods, and they make their way through the woods with hands connected. 

Getting his feelings across, seems like he won't be needing two days for that.

  
  


Every spring brings along something new. A fresh batch of seeds are transplanted and cultivated after the preceding rice harvest, signalling the beginning of another journey for the coming batch of crops which with due attention and tender loving care, will no doubt flourish like their ancestors. Change is inevitable even for nature; the rice grows and gets shipped generation after generation, similar to the unavoidable cycle of people coming and going, life and death. The world is ever changing, time ever flowing, yet the scenery was the same every spring. Next spring, will he see Kita again under the shady oak tree, with their fingers intertwined and smile bright as the sun? Will the coming year bless him with this scene once again? Kita’s hand was nothing short of strong, sturdy, and reliable, covered with traces of hard work and labour, exceeding Osamu's expectations in every aspect. There's nothing not to love, nothing not to look forward to.

Like Kita said, Osamu hadn't changed much since they first met, but neither had he. Atsumu might label their phlegmatic captain as prim and proper, which was true most of the time, but don't be fooled by his seemingly stagnant exterior. Beneath that, was a surprisingly playful and witty soul who loves to mix a little sarcasm in his words when his mood calls for it and tease with a straight face. Even so, no one will doubt him because he is _the_ Kita Shinsuke. Kita was a fox, too.

Running over open green fields and revelling under the bright blue sky, surrounded by colourful daffodils and tulips and singing birds, losing oneself in the gentle flow of drifting clouds. Such was what the country offers, what the busy urban city will never see. Such was what defined Kita Shinsuke, earthy, stable, and nurturing. Osamu needs that; someone that can hold him down, an unchanging place he’ll always be able to return home to.

Kita was full of emotions like everyone else, though it takes more than just close observation to discover the intricacy and depth of his soul. Joy, frustration, worry, dejection, hope, desire; the whole spectrum of emotions that add colour to life, Kita feels them to its full extent, perhaps even more. He's sensitive, remarkably so. Osamu makes a silent vow to protect Kita’s feelings, and he knows Kita would do the same for him.

* * *

“Hi welcome! Oh, Kita-san? You’re here!” 

Atsumu had swung the front door open to cheerily greet his old high school captain who was dressed in a plain white tee and khaki cargo pants. Just like him to be simple yet look so put together. Perfect for the occasion, at this dress-down, chill, private house party. Always considerate and respectful despite their many years of friendship, Kita hands him a bottle of junmai sake as a house gift which Atsumu with a thanks and “you didn’t have to”. Another thing that came with the sake, a shocking discovery, was the figure behind Kita that was his striking mirror image.

Hinata was overjoyed to see him, but Atsumu was more curious about why he changed his mind and _how_ he got here with Kita. 

"Hey, hey 'Samu." Atsumu whispered, getting his brother's attention as they stood side by side in the living room that was filled was banter and lots of talking among the guests.

"What?"

"Are ya and Kita-san, y'know?" He twirls his fingers in strange gestures as if it were a secret language between the both of them, although Osamu doesn't understand a fraction of his sign language- he refuses to understand it. Just because they're twins, doesn't mean they had telepathic abilities. He does get what Atsumu was trying to say though, it's easy to guess.

"Uhm, no?" To be very honest, Osamu still didn't know what was going on between him and Kita at the moment. Not wanting to get ahead of himself, he decided to assume nothing of it. Atsumu didn't need to know, anyway.

Just then, Kita walks by and stops in front of the both of them, shutting the both of them up as they await his words like dogs eagerly waiting for their owner's command. 

"Osamu," he finally says after a moment of thought, tapping on the glass of whiskey in the younger man's hand. "I'll drive later, so don’t hesitate to drink more."

"Yes, okay. Thank you." Osamu replies, and Kita goes on his way.

With a raised eyebrow, Atsumu sniggers. "Oh, yeah?"

Osamu gets a hunch he's never going to hear the end of it. Well, that's alright. He's got Kita, and that's all that matters. A silly smile is plastered on his face, not at all bothered by the weird looks his brother and the others sent his way.

"I'll have another glass." He refills his now empty glass with more liquor, knowing that Kita would have his back.


End file.
